Dannii sat down and began picking the leaves from her leather miniskirt with practiced skill. It was as she was removing a pine cone from a particularly delicate location that she was alerted by a sound. Was that a scream coming from the rotunda?
"Danger threatens," she said to herself. "I must transform myself into Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue." Using her secret mystical powers and reciting the magic words 'This Is It' under her breath, she span around in circles and transformed herself into the vinyl-clad super-heroine.
In one swift movement, she had dashed across the park and ran towards the rotunda. A young hoodlum with a punk haircut was stealing the handbag from a defenceless little old lady. She recognised the hoodlum as 'Handbag Harry', a well-known criminal who made easy prey of incontinent old women. Dannii instantly sprang into action.
Slam! A single, devastating kick, rather like the one she'd experienced when her UK label dropped her, sent Harry crashing to the ground. Gripped by a sudden wave of insanity, Dannii kept kicking until there was blood spattered everywhere, including all over the now hysterical senior citzen. Pausing only to extricate the handbag from the man's arms, Dannii raced back behind a tree.
Completely traumatised by the violence she had witnessed, the old lady found herself committed to a mental home by dinner time. Little did she know that Mighty Morphin' Dannii Minogue had saved the streets from crime once more.
Her task accomplished, Dannii sighed contentedly. "Another Success!" she said to herself, as she relaxed in the afternoon sun.
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