The Mormon Prophet
The Mormon Prophet can provide the guidance that is missing from your day-to-day life, with his searing visions of the future. For ethical reasons, his identity remains a secret, and rumours that he is the next Pope are also inaccurate.
Having been absent on a fact-finding mission in the Canary Islands, recently, the Prophet is pleased to return with a host of new predictions:
- Gusworld will continue to receive mail from insane pageant groupies. These people should switch their devotion to the Prophet, lest their souls rot for all eternity.
- The Spice Girls will split up by Christmas.
- Teen pop sensations Hanson will eventually be persuaded to make a movie about their lives. Unfortunately, it will be very, very bad.
- The wharfies: Isn't it ironic?
Sometime in the future, it will rain.
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