THIS RANT 16/08/96
Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.
Great dumb lyrics of our time
I was at my friend Camille's 21st birthday party the other night when I heard that early 90s hit 'Bust A Move' by Young MC. This song leaves me completely indifferent, save for one thing: it features a lyric which for several years I cited as the worst example of rhyming in popular music and general lyrical patheticness. Those lines were:
Dressed in yellow
She says "Hello,
How'd you like to come over here you fine fellow?"
Having expressed this view, I was attacked by several people, including well-known lyrical connoisseur Spanky, who pointed out that there are plenty of other songs with bad lyrics. Reflection has led me to conclude that this is indeed accurate, and to prove it, here are a few select lyrics from the Gusworld Hall of How Did They Write That And Keep A Straight Face? Some are by the greatest bands of all time; some are by mindless garbage pumpers who should have been put down at birth. But all share the common denominator of being awful:
- Remember when I lost my keys/And you lost more than that in my back seat? ('Never Gonna Die', Bon Jovi)
- You and I/We're always on the run/Got so many things/That have to be done ('That's What I Like About You', Collette)
- And you might believe it/But don't be misleaded ('Can't Fight Fate', Taylor Dayne)
- Children are starving on the streets/Another one disappearing every week ('Rough Justice', Bananarama) [Don't get me wrong, I love the song, but really!]
- My mama said/I know you've been out again with Fred ('My Mama Said', ABBA)
- Once it was normal for a girl to curtsey/Got to admit, even though it hurts me ('So Hip It Hurts', ABC)
- Gonna eat a lot of peaches ('Peaches', The Presidents Of The United States Of America - can't bring myself to cite any more)
- In the beginning/God made the sea/But on the seventh day/He made me ('My Name Is Prince', Prince/Taffy/Short Purple Dude)
- Gotta go to Piccadilly/Gotta pick a dilly/Gotta day to do it all ('Dick A Dum Dum', Des O'Connor)
Additions to this valuable cultural resource are welcomed, as long as they're not from the Cranberries, since the NME has that pretty much sewn up.
Gusworld cannot guarantee complete and 100% accuracy in every word of every lyric quoted above, but it can guarantee that the bad bits are authentic.
Click here to contact Gus
Go back up a level
Return to Gusworld Central