Rant Of The Day THIS RANT 27/09/96

Rant Of The Day is where I get to mouth off about whatever I feel like for however long I like. Theoretically, I'll update my whinge/opinion piece every weekday; in practice, maybe not so often.

More debauched Smurf stuff-ups

I should know better than to hang around toy stores. The last time I went on a toy buying spree, I became highly distressed at what had happened to the Smurfs . In a whacky case of international deja-vu, the same thing happened recently when I visited Toys 'R' Us's flagship store on Broadway in New York.

Amongst the aisles of truly awful Barbie products and the renewed interest in Star Wars, and whenever I stopped hyperventilating at the site of so many annoying (and American) children, I found a packaged version of the Smurf figurines that graced my youth. However, they just weren't right. Look at the examples I've provided here. There was never a Smurfette with ginger pigtails in the books. Nor was there a country-cousin Smurf with a yellow straw hat. The Grandma Smurf is a mere figment of a toy manufacturer's imagination.

"Yes, but I don't care," I hear you cry. But at the very least, you should care about the fact that even the Smurfs that are authentic (some of which even copy the designs from the classic figurines) look wrong. Papa Smurf appears to have been possessed by a demon spirit. Postman Smurf seems similarly deranged. It's more than a true Smurf-lover can bear.

This travesty must end.Anyone want to start up a new Smurf toys business?

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