The Opening Sentence: Airport Dialogue

This is the third post in my new project The Opening Sentence — read all about it here, check out previous posts here and share any thoughts/ideas/criticisms below. As with yesterday’s example, the opening line is a real fragment of conversation I overheard.

“Don’t drop it. There’s a PlayStation in there, for fuck’s sake.”

“I didn’t drop it. It just fell over.”

“Well, why can’t you hold onto it? The queue isn’t that long.”

“Fuck that. I don’t know why we have to bring it anyway.”

“Because I’m not paying the hotel thirty bucks a day just so I can play games.”

“Because you never get to do that, do you? It’s a bloody holiday. Why do we have to drag the fucking console along?”

“Because there is no way that I am watching Indonesian TV. No fucking way.”

“You’ll be lucky if it arrives in one piece. Those baggage handlers always treat luggage like shit.”

“It’s well-padded.”

“Well, if it’s well-padded, it shouldn’t matter if I drop it, should it?”

“Whatever. Do you want me to carry it instead?”

“No way. You can carry the other suitcase. That weighs a ton.”

“Well, that’s hardly my fault is it? I’m not the one packing a PlayStation for a beach trip.”

“Well, hold on to it ya mong.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, ya cunt.”

It was going to be a good holiday.

12 thoughts on “The Opening Sentence: Airport Dialogue

  1. I was laughing :)

    Writing dialogue with nothing else is hard – that was very believable, although in the context of a larger story probably seems a bit out of place. As it stands, I thought the discussion was cringeworthy (in terms of the characters it portrays) and yet more than probable, knowing some of the people the country actually lets fly.

    That last line feels misplaced though, like it needed to be the start of a bigger paragraph, or there needed to be something leading in to the dialogue.

    All in my humble opinion, of course. Keep it up Gus, I for one am enjoying it immensely.

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